is your mom at the bar?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
