Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you would pick up someone in the library
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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