"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
