Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
