Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize