Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
