I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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