Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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