I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize