This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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