he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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