well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
