I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
