Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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