I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
