He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
