She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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