i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
