Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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