It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
