Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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