I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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