She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
