btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
