Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
