bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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