you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
there is puke in my bra ... again
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
