I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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