you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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