Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
