six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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