That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
