Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My ass is underappreciated
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
