Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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