Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
zippers are such a cool invention
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
