Ambien. No doubt about it.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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