Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
