man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
