She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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