I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
