Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
