I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
