his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize