Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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