i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
