Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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