so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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