The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
operation harelip BJ is a go
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
