The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
