That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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