also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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