Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
