So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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