I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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