do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
