People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
